1. Wake up and make yourself a nice big Western Omelette. Make sure you pour on the onions. Foods like eggs and onions contain hydrogen sulfide that cause tarnishing. Hopefully you are wearing your jewelry.
2. Take a shower with your jewelry on. Shampoos, hair conditioners and soaps may contain chemicals that tarnish your silver jewelry quickly.
3. Spray on a lot of hairspray and perfume. Bring back the 80′s!
4. Ride your bike, moped, Vespa, or motorcycle to work. Hopefully you live in NYC or LA. Your jewelry will get a nice dose of hydrogen sulfide during your commute.
5. Work a double shift at Macy’s selling cosmetics. Cosmetics usually contain chemicals that can actually rub off the metal from your sterling silver jewelry. Oh, make sure you put that jewelry on before you apply your own makeup in the morning!
6. Barbecue dinner. Make sure you have those rings and bracelets on when your barbecuing dinner. Sulfur compounds present in smoke from burnt coal causes sterling silver to tarnish. Don’t forget to add lots of onions to those sausage and peppers!
7. Relax outside in the hot tub or pool while wearing your sterling silver jewelry. This is the most important step and you deserve it. You may even want to add extra chlorine. We are talking super tarnishing powers. Throw some soapy bubbles in the hot tub just to be safe.
8. Finally, sleep with your silver jewelry on for 10 hours in the sauna. Moist and wet conditions do wonders for turning your beautiful silver necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and rings nice and black. You might want to take a few gallons of water to bed though.
